Sleep in the First Year

Sleep is a topic that looms large over the first (and second, and third) year of parenting. From the moment my child was born, I was getting advice from every direction. Even when it wasn't advice the question of "How does she sleep?" was ever present. It was hard to resist being consumed it, since every nap and night presented the opportunity to answer differently.

My baby slept... like a baby. At first a lot, then less and less. Sometimes on her own, often on me, or my husband, or a very willing grandparent. Patterns would emerge, then fall away. The things we knew to be true about her, would become so far from the truth as to be unthinkable just a week or two later. She nursed to sleep until she no longer did. Not because of me, but because something within her shifted. In short, her sleep evolved. At times with some gentle nudging from us.

As for us, we slowly, sometimes painfully learned to be flexible. Helping a baby sleep takes patience. It takes being aware of your baby and their needs, as well as your own. What your newborn needs is different from what your six month old needs. And what one child needs will be different from another. You and your baby may both need more time together at night after returning to work, and you might also really need some rest. Like all of our relationships, it is a balance. And it is okay to change our approach when it is no longer working.

Baby sleep is ever unfolding and we are never in full control of our baby's sleep. Our choices are in conversation with our baby and how they are developing. When we are also in conversation with our coparent(s) and what our family needs, that can make for sleeping strategies and arrangements that works for the whole family.